the language of matrescence
Matrescence is not only something to understand intellectually,
it’s something to speak of.
Sometimes the hardest part is not what you are feeling,
but how to put it into words.
Matrescence is full of dichotomies, contradictions.
It can be expansive and disorienting, tender and overwhelming -all at once.
And yet, so often, we are left with very few ways to speak about it.
This page exists to offer language you can use.
With a friend, with a partner, or with yourself.
You might say:
“I feel like I don’t quite recognise myself, but I’m finding my way”
“This feels bigger than I expected, in ways I can’t fully explain”
“I am becoming someone new, even if I don’t have the words for it yet”
“Some days feel expansive, and some feel heavy. I am learning to hold both”
If you are in it
You might say:
“I see how much you are holding, even when it’s not spoken”
“You don’t have to have it all figured out”
“This is a big transition, and you’re allowed to feel all of it”
“You are still you, even as things are changing”
“I’m here, in whatever way you need”
If you are supporting someone
If you don’t know what to say
You can keep it simple:
“I’m thinking of you”
“I’m here”
“You’re not alone in this”
For a card or message
You might write:
“There is so much happening beneath the surface right now”
“Even if it’s hard to name, it matters”
or
“You are moving through something profound”
“Even on the days it doesn’t feel that way”
or
“This version of you is still unfolding”
“There is no rush to arrive anywhere”
A quiet reminder
There is no perfect way to say this.
What matters is that it is felt, and that it is said.
Some language can unintentionally minimise or dismiss the experience of matrescence.
Instead of:
"You'll be back to you’re old self soon"
"This is just a phase"
"All mums go through this"
You might say:
"This is a meaningful time of change
"There's a lot happening beneath the surface"
"It makes sense that this feels big.”
Women walk through the door
of matrescence every day.
May we walk with them
and learn to speak the language
of this becoming.
If you are looking for a more considered way to express this moment, you can explore you can explore cards for the birth of a mother at
Thank you for using, sharing, and gifting the language of matrescence
Matrescence is a shared yet deeply personal process.
The language of matrescence is emerging, growing, evolving.
If you would like to add your words on matrescence to share with others please submit the form below.
Entries will be regularly updated and become available on The Living Language of Matrescence
The Living Language
of Matrescence
A home for the language of matrescence.
Language grows through use.
The Living Language of Matrescence is a home for the words people use to describe the experience of becoming a mother.
You might share a single word, a sentence, a metaphor, a poem fragment, a question, or a story.
There is no right way to contribute.
Submissions will be gathered and collated into the Living Language of Matrescence page, creating an evolving record of the words, stories, and expressions emerging from matrescence.